Out with the old, in with the new.

It's New Years Eve and we are ringing in the new year the only way we know how: popcorn, ice cream, and kid movies with the littles.

My birthday is on Thursday, Oliver's on Sunday. I've been using every ounce of brain power to piece together the perfect vintage carnival/circus-themed party for him that I swear if I see another red and white striped party item, I might lose my mind. We aren't having his party until the 19th, thank goodness, but I've been Etsy shopping like mad, trying to peg down fun, yet do-able (for 4-5 year olds) carnival games, snacks, decorations, goodie bags, and a craft. I've recruited some help from family members which may or may not prove to make me go grey in the hair quicker than if I'd just done everything on my own. Time will tell.

As we wrap up yet another year, I can't help but feel stereotypically nostalgic. This year has been so unbelievably good to us. My biggest little grew up before my eyes, transforming from this squishy, chubby-knuckled half-toddler, half-child to a full-fledged boy. He's unruly, feisty, stubborn, creative, imaginative, hilarious, intelligent, inquisitive, and has a memory like a bear trap. He keeps us on our toes, ages our tired 24-year-old bodies, and makes us gut-laugh on a regular basis.

This year, he learned what it meant to be a big brother, to have to share everything and everyone around you with this new person. He showed me tolerance and forgiveness as I frantically treaded water, attempting to breathe as I began this journey as a "mother-of-two". He started soccer, learned loads, made new friends, came out of his shell a bit, became more independent, and grew into this foreign long, lanky human. He stretches out and becomes taller and leaner with every passing day, I'm sure of it. This time last year, he was still begging to be carried everywhere we went. He learned to walk, to run, to explore on his own. It's been bittersweet.

We had a baby. We had a baby. We brought another unique, free-thinking, free-feeling human into this world and I still can't believe I carried him around and birthed him. It seems like a distant dream, but it also feels like it was just yesterday. Dexter has taught us so much. I remember thinking that there was no way I could love both he and Oliver equally or enough, but my heart has stretched to hold both boys nestled neatly in the largest spaces of its beating interior. Dexter brings me so much joy. My heart settles and rests in his presence. I breastfeed Dexter like I always wanted to with Oliver, and the bond it has formed between my sweet baby and I is undeniable. It could move mountains. My body cradled him in the womb and gently guided him into the world. I trusted and listened to my body, the guttural undertones of labor sounding throughout the room. I prayed and felt God's hands upon me as I closed my eyes and let my body bring forth this beautiful human. My heart is full.

Having two kids is challenging sometimes, but also the most rewarding, uprooting, soul-stretching experience I've ever had. I carried and brought forth two beautiful, remarkable humans. Men that will shape the world and will be used to create and refine some of the most beautiful things this world will ever hold, I'm sure of it. God has big plans for the two of them and I feel so blessed to be even a small fraction of the story that is unfolding.

This is their story, their legacy, and I will play a gentle concerto in the background if that's what they need, or I will carry them on my backs like Atlas if that is what they need in that moment. I will be their greatest ally and strongest advocate.

And although it saddens me that Oliver is so old now, that he doesn't need me as much as he used to, my heart soars at the thought of standing next to him, behind him, or in front of him as he walks through life shifting from childhood to manhood.

This next year brings so much hope. I can't believe how far we've come, what this year has done for us, and all that is in store for us. 2013 transformed our family of three into this beautiful and balanced family of four. I feel so content, so very "in-the-moment". I am in want of nothing. God has provided for us all year long and blesses our family in so many amazing, astounding, and glorious ways. I feel his presence in our life and in our home and I can't wait to see what lies ahead  on this winding path.

So, that's my mushy end-of-the-year post, and like all good New Year's posts, I have to end it with a few goals for the coming year:

1. I will pray and thank the Lord every day. I will pray earnestly and sincerely and frequently. I will give Him all the glory, because my life wouldn't be even half as beautiful if it wasn't for His hands working within it.
2. I will speak with gentleness and love toward my husband and sons.
3. I will hold onto my patience and when I feel that I'm about to lose it, I will call on the name of Jesus to fill me back up. I will not lose it on my kids, even when I'm tired or having a rotten day.

I have a few more of the "New year, new me" goals like healthy life choices, money management, organization, etc., but my top three are the ones worth mentioning.

Also, I am starting a new things this year: I'm going to be posting more often, I swear, but I will at the very least be posting a photo of each child, each week, for 52 weeks. I've seen other really talented mamas doing this and never felt good about starting so late in the year, so with that said, I'm making it a point to vow that "I will post once a week for the next year, even if it's just the two pictures accompanied by little to no text."

You read it here first, so here's to me keeping my word.

Happy New Years, folks! I hope you're spending the evening with the people you love, doing something you love. May 2014 bring you hope, joy, peace, and love.

(1/52)
Dexter's 7 month photo shoot and Oliver's homeschool preschool Christmas party. Playing a "Simon Says" type game.

A Makeup Post (Say What?).

So, the holidays are finally over and I feel like I can breathe again. I'm really terrible at multi-tasking when it comes to processing my thoughts, so this little blog of mine has been neglected while my mind has been possessed by Thanksgiving/Christmas prep, preschool, and birthday planning. Mostly Christmas, though. Christmas is so much work.

Santa (or my mom, husband, and mother-in-law) was good to me this year. I asked for makeup and makeup gift cards (MAC and Sephora) and was pleasantly surprised by my wonderful family's generosity. I've been trying to make a point of getting my frumpy mom-butt dolled up every day in an effort to lift my moods and make me feel more human/less cranky. Some sweet things I got this year (and totally recommend) are:

Urban Decay eye shadow palettes:
Naked 2
(Naked 2 is a taupe-themed eye shadow palette with loads to offer. It's versatile and very beautiful. I feel like I can create a lot of really unique and lovely looks with all of the different shadows included. With a lot of taupe and grey-hued shades, I feel like it compliments my pale-ish winter complexion. It'll totally rock in the summer too, so who am I kidding?! From the countless pages of reviews and tips on buying Naked palettes, I've found that this palette is the one that is best rated for cooler (pinkish) skin toned ladies, though I'm sure a darker/warmer skin tone could totally rock the colors in this palette just as hard. It's just, all around, the most perfect neutral palette I've ever come across.)

Naked 3
(Naked 3 has been referred to as the "Xbox One" of the woman world. It's like this holy grail of pinky/rose gold shadows that create a ton of really pretty, girly looks. There are also a lot of darker, more sophisticated hues mixed in with the dainty, pinky colors as well, so there is quite a bit of versatility. I love this palette. It looks phenomenal with my skin tone, but I do feel there is a little bit more of a limit on the options and looks you can create. Maybe I am just new to the scene and don't know what I'm doing, but I feel like every look I create is just another "pinkish" look. Totally recommend it, though. There are tons of beautiful sparkly and matte colors in this palette and it is just as timeless as Naked 2, in my opinion.)

Urban Decay eye primer potion in "Original" and "Greed"
(I had never used a primer for my eyeshadow in the past and, with my Naked 2, my husband bought a duo pack of primer potion that included the two different primers, "Original" and "Greed". Original is perfect and I will buy stocking up on this for the rest of eternity, I'm sure of it. It's just a lovely, buttery base for my lovely, buttery eye shadows! It has no color to it, so it's basically like a translucent base coat, but I still feel like the shadow sticks really well and has a ton of pigmentation when I use it. My eyeshadow stays all day with no creasing or greasiness and I just adore it. "Greed" is just a shimmery gold primer that has some pros and cons. Pros: I love what it does for the shimmery eye shadows, it blends SO well with them and makes my lids so wonderfully pigmented and rich, but the con is that if you use it up on your brow bone, you totally risk looking like a drag queen. I made that mistake. So, I've been using original from my crease up to my brow bone to make for a really neutral base for my light brow bone color, and then using "Greed" on just my lid to help with the glitzy pigmentation. It's like my secret weapon. I love it.)

Nars blush in "Orgasm"
(So, the name is totally awkward, but it's this perfectly creamy, easily-blendable natural flushed pink blush. I've always used cheap-o blush and never realized what I was missing until now. It has a little bit of iridescence, so it does give a little bit of a "dewy" look if you apply quite a bit of it, but I've always used a very, very minimal amount of blush, so I haven't noticed too much of a heavy, shiny look to it. It's beautiful and girly and I'm stoked about this purchase!)

Butter London nail polishes in "Branwen's Feather" and "LA Moss"
(I was introduced to Butter London nail polish through Instagram and spent a lot of time pouring over the colors at Ulta and fell in love with the deep, dark, vampy colors. Anyone who knows me know that I'm typically not a pink, girly, frilly person, so it makes sense that my nail polish preferences would lean more toward the "dark side" (totally a Star Wars reference). These are great. I mean, I'm not a nail polish expert, but these are easy to apply and after two coats, look completely opaque. They dry quickly and stay on for quite a long time (with base and top coats, obviously). I love both colors, but I have to say that I lean a little more toward liking "Branwen's Feather" just a hair more. I can't wait to add more Butter London colors to my collection!)

MAC lipstick in "Modesty"
(Okay, so I am obsessed with MAC. "Hello, my name is Amanda, and I am addicted to MAC Cosmetics." No, but in seriousness, I love this lipstick. I'm slightly intimidated by lipsticks, to be honest. I totally want to rock a red lip and a deep plum lip, but I am always afraid I'll look a bit like a clown or drag queen, so I've read tips to start with something a little bit more like a "your lips, but better" color. So, Ta-da! "Modesty". It's creamy, rich, and comfortable. It doesn't feel sticky and I usually forget I'm even wearing lipstick! It smells like a dream. Like a sugary, marshmallowy dream. It's a perfectly "nudey" pink. It's a bit darker than my regular lip color, but it looks so natural, I don't feel strange wearing it 24/7. I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable about lip color, so I think my next purchase will either be another nice "your lips, but better" color...or maybe I will just go all out and reach for a rich plumy color the next time I'm at MAC. We'll see.)

I've found a new love/hobby in makeup and have been like a crazed addict watching youtube reviews and tutorials, formulating what I'd like to spend my $75 in MAC gift cards on. So, that's been fun.

I might start posting a bit more about makeup mixed in with my motherhood posts, because seriously...what mom doesn't like to pamper herself every now and then? I've always been great at picking apart restaurants and coffee shops because my husband and I have spent a great deal of time learning about, tasting, and cooking different dishes/coffee, so I think my tendency to "over-learn" and "over-do" things could prove to be really helpful when reviewing products I pick up along the way on this new "cosmetic journey" of mine.

Now, I'm wrapping this not-so-interesting, not-so-introspective post up so that I can get a proper New Years Eve post rolling. Hope this post was at least a little insightful!

Cheers.