Contentment and Being a Mum.

It's been a while since I've posted (yes, again). Sick kiddos and The Vampire Diaries took precedence over timely blog posts. No, really, though...I've watched a sickeningly outrageous amount of The Vampire Diaries. I feel no shame. And...let's be honest: these blog posts take a great deal of time, energy, and creative juice, so I'm not one to force the "good stuff".

So, I guess since I've created a void in time and haven't spoken about anything lately, this post might contain many different trains of thought that might muddle together and sound like the ramblings of a lunatic. So, buckle up--hopefully this isn't too much of a train wreck. (Also, I wanted an excuse to share the unbelievably beautiful photos from our family session with Amie Hansen, so...there.)

Some thoughts that have been overflowing the spaces of my mind lately are that of two things, really: contentment and motherhood. Andrew and I have been spending a few weeks pouring over our budget and trying to reign in our spending and beginning to actually save for things we want, which is foreign soil to us. It's been a frustrating and rewarding battle so far. We are learning where our priorities truly rest and how to take hold of life and steer the best we can, placing stress on the things that matter and letting loose some slack on those that don't.

With that said, I am being taught a very profound lesson in contentment. Not allowing myself to splurge on everything and anything I want has taught me to cherish the things I save for and the things I already have. For instance, I am currently saving for a silk ring sling. I've been drooling over the Luxe slings for months and months, but after many heated conversations with myself, I've decided that a simple (possibly an essential?) silk is what we can afford right now and I am so close to having enough to purchase one. And that, my friends, is crazy exciting. I have a feeling it will be well worth the wait.

Instead of browsing pages upon pages of clothes, makeup, accessories, home decor, what have you...I have been making it a point to take a step back, breathe in my moments deeply, and focus on the insurmountable mountain of blessings that is already laid out in front of me. The sun rises and warms my face, the night brings rest, and the air brings peace. When I start to feel sorry for myself, or start to convince myself that I am in great need for some material 'thing', I cling to God's promises over my life. I am so blessed and am in want and need for nothing. My family stirs and awakens to a warm home where I can quietly prepare a breakfast fit for a king when others far away cry out in pain for mere crumbs from our plates.

My cup overfloweth with laughter, joy, and love. I can lay my head down each night with the love of my life resting his next to mine knowing full well that Jesus has his arms wrapped tightly around our slumbering children and around us as well. Our bills get paid, our mouths get fed, and we have more than enough, friends.

I'm training myself to dig down to that place of contentment where I don't need to have the best of the best, where I stop comparing my life to the life of strangers on the internet and people I speak to on a regular basis. My struggles are no one's but my own, our life is as unique as the hardships and high-points within it. I'm learning to shrug off the negativity of judgement from the world that surrounds the bubble that is our family. With contentment and paving our own path comes the ability to know that we are human and we are figuring this out, and not allowing the harshness of others and their views to cripple us.

Lately, as I've been soul-searching and digging into these deep spaces in my heart and rewiring my brain, I've also brought to light a lot of empowering truths. How we spend (or don't spend) our money and what things are placed high as priorities are just as unique as the people who assign them. Meaning, I might value afternoons and evenings at home, wrapped in the warmth of my family, having the ability to have my husband be home to be the father that he wants (and I want him) to be over a hefty number in my bank account. This is true with motherhood as well.

Just because I choose to stay home full-time, does not mean that I 'lose myself in my children'. It also does not mean that I have any right (nor desire) to judge the mothers who have to work. Our paths are all imperfect, winding, jagged, and often times...just what we need them to be. Our passions become our priorities, and how we choose to spend money, how to parent, how to interact, etc. become so very evident in who we are and are our choices and ours alone.

You don't have to re-write history, but you don't have to follow in your mother's/friend's/sister's exact footprints as you venture down the road of motherhood/adulthood. Wouldn't it be just so boring if all of our stories were the exact same? With that said, I believe deeply that each mum deserves the chance to mother in her own, unique way. She deserves to be praised and loved and encouraged, not trampled on, judged, and looked down upon. We take pieces from the pages of our parents' book of life lessons and we mold them and change them and sprinkle some cussing glitter on them, because darn it...these are our stories, our children, and our lives.
So, let's quit pushing and start lifting. Lifting each other up, empowering each other, and move forward knowing that our priorities are our priorities. You will spend your money how you see fit, and I will do the same. You will feed your child organic, free-range beef while that mother over there smuggles fruit loops to hers.

Let's just be content in our own lives, mamas. We are blessed beyond reason and this is our time to set our feet firmly on our beautifully unique path down motherhood and run like hell. Take hold, let go. Dance wildly, sit calmly. It's your choice. Feel empowered. We are all doing a fine, fine job.

Cheers, lovelies.