Dexter turns one.

I could go on for days about how the birth of my second child has impacted me so deeply it takes my breath away...or about how the time flew past way too quickly and about how it seems unfair. One year ago we raced to the hospital, stopping the car a few times a long the way so that I could get out and pace the dark, deserted streets, staving off contractions that were so strong. We were well over halfway through the entirety of my labor when we got to the room that you were born within.

Soft, internal prayers as I thought "this feels like it is never going to end". Four hours was all I had to endure until you emerged into this world, under the water, life erupting. My heart exploded and settled all at once as I held you against my chest, sitting in the warm water that had helped to usher you into this world. I thanked God and felt completely overwhelmed as I stared into your face. Your face that I never envisioned to be as perfect as it was, framed by thick, dark hair...so unlike your brother.

All at once I was crippled by the fact that you were so very different than your brother, even though I had spent nine months of my pregnancy in the belief that you would be just another similar version of Oliver.

You are so different, Dexter William. So very different. You are calmer somehow. You are sweet and loving, and enamored with your mum, settled only by my embrace. You are quiet and intelligent. You started walking so early, right around nine months of age. You are a soft-spoken force. You go to sleep easily, drifting off as I nurse you in our bed. You are just...calm.

We are so in love with you, Dexter. Happy first birthday to our second-born son. To our sweet, quiet Dexter. Our hushed, tender child.

Your current favorites:
Mommy (always). When Daddy gets home from work. Tackling Oliver. Breastmilk. Raspberries. Yogurt. Cookies (shh). Peek-a-boo. Digging in our potted plants. Exploring outside. The outdoors in general. Watching the birds at our bird-feeder. Dogs. Being up in the ring sling. Having your hair smoothed and played with while you fall asleep. Naps. Giving sloppy kisses. Dancing to all music. Playing with your brother's toys. Mimicking your brother. Pointing at every interesting thing you see.